Why Marriage is how it is Today

Marriage is indeed a divine institution, something created by and provide for by God. Not only for the propagation of the species but so that men and women could discover what real love is, not just the love that brings children into the world, but the love that enables us to experience betrayal and yet not hate, the love that learns to forgive, that learns to be strong and to stand up for what’s right, that learns to delay gratifications in other words, the love that makes us fully human.

            Therefore, without the matrimonial promise made before God and man to stay together forever, without a lifelong commitment inoculating them against hard time, the trials, difficulties and pains of marriage and raising a family would be too much for many people to handle.

            So now, considering this man and woman coming to a committed marriage with different backgrounds, baggage, and problems, and with their imperfect, incomplete natures crying out for all the wrong kind of love from each other, what enables them ultimately to triumph, to have a truly happy long term marriage and family? One thing only. Both of their lives must revolve around a love of truth. If they have that they both have a san spiritual father, they’re members of the same spiritual family.

             They have a shared standard by which to resolve differences. All disagreements ultimately find resolution, not because one knuckles under to the other, the submissive to the dominant, but because they both have placed God’s will at the centre of the live, the centre of their family. The wife is not threatened by her husband’s being the ultimate and natural authority in the family, because she trusts him and his judgment. Nor however is the husband threatened by submitting to his wife’s guidance when he sees she is clearly right.

            I’m talking about a shared, deep understanding of life, obtained by honestly confronting out imperfections, standing up to our own lower nature, and facing up to each painful reality as it presents itself in marriage and in life. This is reality, full bore and in Technicolor. This is not a matter of rigid dogma but rather the moment to moment presence of the Living God shining into our lives and our relationships. Any less than that and we’re failing this is why God ordained marriage, so we could find Him. 

The Christian perspective on marriage

The institution of marriage was not an invention of man but instituted by God on the day He created woman to be a companion to man:

The Lord God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him."... So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep…. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. The man said, "This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called woman, for she was taken out of man." For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh [Genesis 2:18, 21-24].

The temporary institution of human marriage was designed by God to be a type of the eternal relationship between Christ and His church.

For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and shall be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. This mystery is great; but I am speaking with reference to Christ and the church. [Ephesians 5:31-32]

Sadly in our day and age, the sanctity of the covenant of marriage has been reduced to either a piece of paper which all too often means absolutely nothing. Or even a prenuptial agreement drawn up in anticipation of the time when the couple will no longer wish to live together.

A covenant is simply an agreement, or contract made between two parties to do, or not do something. The covenant God made with Abraham is an early example of a covenant, between God and His people

And I will establish my covenant between me and thee and thy seed after thee throughout their generations for an everlasting covenant, to be a God unto thee and to thy seed after thee. [Genesis 17:7]

Covenants in the Bible were usually ratified by being sealed with blood, which meant formal consent given by both parties which made the contract valid.

The covenant made by God with Abraham in Genesis 17:4, was ratified or sealed with the circumcision of every male [Genesis 17:10].

The Israelites were sprinkled with blood to seal the covenant made with Moses on Mt. Sinai [Exodus 24:1-8]

The ultimate covenant was sealed by Jesus’ blood. [Matthew 26:27-28]

However what is often overlooked is that marriage too is a lifelong covenant that is supposed to be sealed with blood through the consummation of the marriage.

Christian view on divorce

In Australia, every third marriage ends in divorce. During the past two decades, Australians started to marry less and divorce more. About one-third of children today are born outside the traditional marriage. Divorced people have a higher chance of re-marriage than those who are widowed - nearly half of divorced people re-marry. About three-quarters of people who marry today lived with their partner for some time prior to marriage. The divorce rate in Australia per 1000 of population remains around the level of 2.5% (plus-minus 0.2%) since 1988, as well as the average number of children per divorce of 1.88

Let's take a look at what the Bible says about divorce and remarriage. Most Christians who favor divorce try to justify their view by arguing that God allowed divorce (Duet 24:1-3) in the law. They proceed to argue that since God is never changing, then he must allow divorce now. However, we must not jump to conclusion based on one or two individual verses in the Bible, but should look at its teaching as a whole. Based on 1Corinthians 7:10-11, 1Corinthians 7:27, Matthew 19:6 and Mark 10:9, it is clear that God dislikes divorce (to the extent that He used the word hate). Christ said, 'What God has joined together, let not man separate' (Matthew 19:6). Why did Moses allow divorce in the Old Testament then (Duet 24:1-3)? Did God contradict Himself, or did he change his mind? If we read Mark 10:5, we learn that Moses allowed divorce because the Israelites hearts were hardened, much like Pharaohs heart was hardened when the Israelites tried to leave Egypt (Ex 4:21 and Ex 10:20). Just because God allowed Pharaoh and those who desire divorce to harden their hearts, does it mean that He supported what they did? Certainly not! By the same token, God allows sins to occur too, but that does not mean He ordains these actions

Biblical reasons for divorces 

Adultery: Jesus said, "And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery," (Matt. 19:9). The word in Greek for immorality is porneia from which we get the word pornography.  Sexual immorality, i.e., adultery, is a grounds for divorce according to Jesus.

Abandonment: In addressing the issue of husband and wife, Paul said, "Yet if the unbelieving one leaves, let him leave; the brother or the sister is not under bondage in such cases, but God has called us to peace," (1 Cor. 7:15).